


There's Always Room For Pie

by rowofstars



Series: 1200 Follower Promptathon [6]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Frenemies, Humor, Sarcasm, Snark, Swearing, Vomiting, pie and the eating thereof, weird mutual attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-09-08 05:07:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8831653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rowofstars/pseuds/rowofstars
Summary: For my 1200 Follower Promptathon: rufeepeach prompted: Lacey can't make rent. While pleading for an extension, Gold asks if she'd do -anything- to get the money. Lacey agrees, believing he means sex. Then he tells her the Miner's Day Pie Contest has a $200 prize, and if she really wants to stay in her home, she'll enter and win.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rufeepeach](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rufeepeach/gifts).



> If excessive eating of food isn’t your thing, move along. If rampant silliness isn’t your thing, well, I’m sorry. This where we are now. Ilu, Ru.

Gold looked up when the bell over the shop door jingled, and smirked.

“Miss French,” he called out. “How lovely to see you. What can I do for you today?”

Lacey French glared at him and practically stomped her way over to the counter, her heels abrasively loud on the old wood floor. She slapped down a pile of rumpled bills with her right hand and dropped a litany of coinage with her left. 

“That’s all I’ve got,” she declared. “I can get you the rest by Tuesday.”

Gold braced his hands on the counter, stretching his arms out to either side, and leaned in. His teeth bared in a sneer as he spoke. “I don’t give extensions, Miss French. Rent is due by close of business on Friday.”

Lacey huffed and folded her arms. He had taken off his suit jacket and was left in just a dark red and black patterned waistcoat and a black dress shirt. It made the gold arm garters stand out even more, and her eyes drifted to them briefly. The red, black, and gold colors, combined with his sneering smile, made her feel a bit like she was here to make a deal with the Devil.

“Well, Keith hasn’t paid up from last week, and -”

Gold shook his head. “I don’t want to hear excuses, Miss French. I just want you to pay your rent on time.”

She fixed him with another look. “And if you give me until Tuesday, I promise you’ll have it.”

Gold straightened and gave her a quick appraisal. As usual she was wearing a skirt that was almost too short to be decent, a shirt that showed every bit of cleavage she possessed, and perilously tall heels.

“I assume you need until Tuesday so you can hustle every sucker in the Rabbit Hole at pool?” he asked.

The corner of Lacey’s mouth curved slightly and she nodded once. “Maybe. Maybe I have a weekend job.”

Gold snorted. “I’m sure you do.”

“Fuck you,” she retorted immediately. That earned her a harsh glare, but the point had already been made on both sides. Then she huffed again. “Look, what do you expect me to do? Keith owes me, and he won’t pay up. You could try taking out of his hide with your cane and keep the extra.”

He smirked again. “As much as I might enjoy that, it’s not my responsibility to track down my tenant’s money.”

Lacey worried her bottom lip. Keith was probably hiding and refusing to pay up because he owed Gold rent as well. She didn’t have any other options. The money she’d put on the counter was everything she had. There was petty cash in her dad’s shop, but she felt so sick after the last time she swiped some, that she vowed never to do it again.

“So how do you suppose I get a hundred bucks by the end of the day?” she asked. “Go play the midway games at Miner’s Day and exchange the tickets for quarters like the kids?”

That amused Gold and he let out a low chuckle. “I might enjoy that as well,” he said, pointedly looking her up and down and briefly imagining how it might look when she bent over to swing the hammer for the strength test. And then he started to smile. It was a slow, devilish grin. “But you might be on to something, Miss French.”

Lacey straightened and took a small step back. That look on Mr. Gold was as dangerous as it was - well, attractive. She frowned at the strange thought, but shook it off.

“And what’s that?” she asked, flatly.

Gold picked up his cane from where it was hooked on the edge of the counter, and started to move around the end of the display case, where the register sat. “Well, there’s other games and contests you could enter,” he said. “The slime tank.”

She snorted, remembering last year when Mother Superior had been conned into taking a turn at the tank in the name of charity. She was dropped into a giant vat of lime jello five times before she angrily declared that was enough and stalked off. There was no way in hell Lacey was getting suckered into that.

“Try again,” she replied, as he came towards her. His body moved rather gracefully, despite the limp. Like a snake, she thought with a sneer.

His lips quirked. “Wet t-shirt contest.”

Her eyes rolled, but she grinned. “In your dreams.”

And everyone else’s, he thought. He was not above acknowledging that Lacey was an attractive young woman who would probably garner a lot of attention should she choose to participate in such an event.

“Oh,” he said softly, his lips open in a perfect circle that drew Lacey’s attention for a second. “I know. The pie eating contest!”

Lacey gave him a blank look. “Seriously? Do I look like the pie eating type?”

Gold tipped his head briefly and came to stand in front of her. “You seem to be when you’re nursing a hangover at Granny’s. Cherry, is it?”

Her nose wrinkled. She hated cherry pie. “Strawberry,” she corrected sharply. “Extra whipped cream.”

His lips twitched. That was his favorite. “Of course.”

“So what’s the take home?”

He frowned. “I’m sorry?”

Lacey rolled her eyes again. “The pie eating contest, how much?”

“Oh - uh,” Gold stuttered. She was actually considering it? She thought he was serious? Well, then. Perhaps, if he couldn’t get his money, he could at least teach Miss French lesson and get some schadenfreude style entertainment out of it. 

Another slow smile crept across his face. “Why, I believe it’s two hundred dollars.”

Her jaw worked, tensing as she squared her shoulders. Eating a couple pies couldn’t be that bad, right? Especially Granny’s cream pies. “Fine. I’ll do it.”

He opened his mouth to say something, but she interrupted him. “And - I’ll win. And you’ll get your bloody money.”

Gold swallowed and then nodded slowly. “Deal.”

 

 

 

Three hours later, Gold was standing to the side of the small stage setup in the town square. He leaned to his left, keeping most of his weight on his good leg, with his cane in front of him and his hands folded. His dark suit was on the warm side for the early fall day, but he didn’t plan on being here long.

The contestants filed onto the stage to the usual whoops and cheers, with Lacey bringing up the rear of the line. She shot him a deathly glare as she pulled out the folding chair and sat down. The corner of his mouth curved in response. He had the perfect view from this spot, being at the same end of the stage as Lacey.

The first pie was brought out and placed in front of the contestants by the members of the local girl scout troop. All the pies were made of a flaky, light crust filled with fluffy cream and drizzled with chocolate. Lacey licked her lips and swallowed, her gut already churning at the idea of cramming several pies into stomach. She took a small sip from the water glass provided for her, and exhaled slowly.

A few seconds later, the whistle blew and the contestants simultaneously shoved their faces into the pies in front of them.

Gold bit back a laugh at the sight of Lacey French with her face covered in cream pie filling, but it faded once he realized that she was the second contestant to finish the first pie. The first was Will Scarlet, who was the surprise win last year, beating out three time champion Anton Bean. Anton and Will were seated next to each other in the middle of the table and were clearly where the focus of the audience was.

As contestants finished pies, the empty tins were replaced with fresh, full ones, brought out by the girl scouts. It was rather machine like, the way everyone ate and paused, sipped water and dove back in. After three pies Gold started to worry. He watched as Lacey methodically ate her way around the pie tin, licking the excess cream off her lips as she kept her hands behind her back. A dollop dripped onto her chest, running slowly down her decolletage to stop just at the top edge of her shirt. 

Gold licked his lips unconsciously, shifting in his stance, and wondered for the first time if he’d made a deal he didn’t understand.

 

 

 

Lacey stood by the prize booth, one hip cocked to the side, watching smugly as Gold made his way through the crowd to her.

“Congratulations, Miss French,” he said. 

His face was nothing short of annoyed, and Lacey smiled. “Thanks, Gold.”

She pulled the prize money out, in the form of ten twenty dollar bills, and waved them like a fan as she swept her hair back over her shoulders. He noticed the cream filling that had fallen on her chest was still there, now melted, warm, and sticky. His tongue pushed at his bottom lip, but he caught himself in time and pressed his mouth shut.

“Nice warm day isn’t it?” she asked, smirking.

Gold glared and held out his left hand, palm up. “My money, Miss French.”

She huffed and gathered up the bills, licking her thumb before counting them out into his hand. 

“One hundred - dollars,” she said, swallowing against the sick feeling in her belly. She needed to go home. Now.

“Thank you,” he said flatly, tucking the money into his inside jacket pocket. “In the future -”

He stopped cold when she bent over in half, and took a hasty step backwards, but his back collided with the ticket booth behind him. Trapped, he squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to breathe as Lacey French threw up at his feet.

Gold swallowed hard, trying to ignore what what was happening and what was now on his shoes. Thankfully, after a few seconds, she was done.

She swiped a hand over her mouth and spit to the side, shuddering at the horrid taste in her mouth. Glancing down at Gold’s feet, she shrugged. “Oops.”

Before he could say anything she walked off, that same sway to her hips that she’d had when she walked to the front of the stage to be cheered by the crowed.

Gold scowled. Lacey had bested him today, but it wouldn’t be the last time she was hard up for money, and unable to pay her rent. He kicked at the ground both in frustration and to try to get the mess off the toes of his shoes. He might have made a deal he wasn’t prepared for today, but next time, he thought, next time he’d be more than ready.


End file.
